Seeing is not believing: A true Biola Confession

It’s about maybe midday somewhere in LA while a friend of mine and I are talking about stuff. You know … friend stuff. Needless to say it’s a Monday, we’re chomping down eating pizza when we start talking about fun little mischievous things we’ve done during our lives. I tell him about the time that I blew up a massive firework next to my house while my mother and sisters were having a “chick-flick” night. We have a good laugh. However, then he unloads on me this insane story that I think pretty much seals the deal as him being “Master of the Trolls” or “Trollmaster 5000”.

It made me realize that for every single good thing the internet can give us it also can give us quite a lot of misinformation but also a lot of amazing insights into just how much “group-think” can become a part of what is “accepted”. However, it also makes me wary of EVER again trusting someone’s story online … unless they have pretty verifiable evidence of it ever happening to them.

A lot of the story revolves around the website “Biola Confessions” and it’s adjoining group on Facebook.

Needless to say here’s his “Confession” and I promise that this one is 100% true.

“About 6 years ago I began trolling Biola’s Confession page, mainly because the private Christian university I attended had one that wasn’t as fun (I was friends with the confession’s page admin) and I was looking for some laughs. I love stirring up discussions, that’s why I like to troll. I’ve gotten some very funny confessions published over the years and to my credit, of the 8000+ or so confessions Biola has published I can take credit for about 1/4th of them being mine. I don’t even go here, but having gone through the private Christian school education I had plenty of ammunition to empathize, relate and trigger plenty of students and alumni past and present.
Fast forward to present day, and Biola’s confessions page is still alive and running by handed down keys from the prior student admins. Today I troll with pro and anti feminist critiques, pro/anti cultural appropriation manifestos, homophobic/pro LGBTQIAA rants and everything else in between, and I usually mask the voicing of the confession with a triggered entitled soul that comes from privilege or from a fringe minority upbringing with a sprinkle of flawed logic to get the Philosophy and Exegetical fact checkers typing away at the error they have discovered in said confession. Letting one of these confessions run on the page gives me much pleasure as 1) I’m completely anonymous submitting it 2) it serves as a litmus test to the current/past student body’s ideologies commenting on it and 3) it has caused some funny politically correct changes in organizations at Biola’s campus.
One time I ran a confession that critiqued BQU (Biola’s Queer Underground) name of their organization as being inherently discriminatory against the LGBTQIAA community for not having each of their minority representations of those other letter abbreviations included in their club’s name and they actually changed their club’s name to the Biola Equal Ground because of it. I was blown away that I actually caused this through a troll confession and I was hooked.
I one time got into a 70+ public comment argument anonymously with the page’s admin. I confessed that I switched room mates when I brought up to my RA that my room mate was gay and that I didn’t want any room for temptation to affect my time at Biola. The page admin (who was a lesbian) was deeply triggered and ran my anonymously up the wall as being homophobic etc. while other students defended me having the right to switch room mates. None of this ever happened of course which made the discussion very compelling.
Another time I got other commentators into a 96+ comment thread argument when I confessed that I thought taking my wife’s last name was a noble thing and that I was proud to be her husband. As you would expect the pro alpha male bros came out of the woodwork with the progressive LGBTQIAA social justice warriors going back and forth with each other.  You can imagine the stuff that was spewed from both sides of the ideology spectrum. Eventually the admin just deleted all the comments because people started personally attacking each other.
I can go on about the joys I’ve had trolling this confession’s page. I don’t know why after 6 years I still do it, but like a smart phone notification bringing a shot of endorphins to one’s body, the moment someone gets triggered from a troll confession, my endorphins get a fat dose of satisfaction. If I helped bring to light some fringe ideologies at the end of the day, great! I really have used this as a rat lab of social experiments in my own vacuum behind a keyboard and it’s been a very fun research pet project to say the least. Never change Biola Confessions! Never Change!”

Amazing.

Dumbfounding.

It’s why in this era of newfound victimization …. it may be better to be wary and cautious in the face of undependable accusations and stories.

Every time now I see thousands enraged online … or hundreds of “offended” people I question the veracity of their offense. The same goes for ultra salty or seemingly “racist” comments. Are these people actually real? Are they trolling or are they serious? These are legitimate questions to ask and why in today’s world … seeing is not always believing.

 

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